It can be all to easy to think that there is “something wrong” – with some circumstance in our lives, or even with us. We remember trips to the doctor for flu shots when we were young. We remember a parent or teacher coming to us about some problem at school “following instructions”. And I’m sure every one of us is all too familiar with the phrase, “What’s wrong with you?”
While it’s true there may be flaws and inconsistencies – and yes, even darker attributes like resentments, defiance and dishonesty – within each of us, does that really mean there is “something wrong”?
In the western world, “wrong” is often thought of us a moral regression, a defect, a bad part. In religions, to do something wrong is commonly used as the definition of sin. In societal conventions, there is a general conception of what it means to have everything be “all right”. Usually this includes:
- Money in the bank.
- A loving, supportive, conventionally attractive girl-/boyfriend or spouse.
- A steady, predictable job or career (income source).
- A rich social life.
- Health, or some idea of it (in recent years, this has been equated with controlled conditions such as depression and anxiety treated with prescription medications). [https://www.npr.org/2016/09/08/493157917/federal-survey-finds-119-million-americans-use-prescription-drugs]
But does this mean that if any of these conditions are not met, there is “something wrong” with me?
Let’s do an experiment, just for fun. Let’s ask a question, just a hypothetical question: “What if there is actually nothing wrong with me?”
I’m sure just asking this – saying these words – brings some kind of discomfort or strange feeling. You may even be avoiding asking it. But how many of us feel this way – that there is something wrong with us? Would this be why just asking this question feels uncomfortable?
But if I take a moment and step into it, and just imagine that it’s true – that nothing is actually wrong with me – then something interesting starts to happen. We might start to see some symptoms and even conditions and dis-eases as being the results of something else. Let’s call that something a fixation.
Fixations can be mental, emotional, or psychological. For example, have you ever had sore feet, maybe from walking or running a lot during the day, but as soon as you sit down with a nice cup of tea and a book, veg out in front of your favorite TV show, or call your mom, you notice that you don’t notice your sore feet anymore?
Maybe you didn’t notice. And that’s exactly my drift. Once we stop noticing an undesirable symptom – for whatever reason, perhaps we get distracted by an attractive person, a cute dog, or a particularly delicious piece of cake – the symptom appears to go away on its own.
Now, I’m not saying that there aren’t actual diseases, maladies, and conditions that need proper medical attention. Nor am I alleging that the nervous system does not play a role in many recurring somatic patterns. I definitely am aware that some things need attention.
But I also invite you to ask what if – just What If – the vast majority of things about our lives or our selves that we perceive as wrong are just… fixations? Blips on the screen of consciousness? And the minute – or second – that we simply take our attention away from them – what is left is then able to emerge.
So what is left? Well, if you take away the fixation (another word for thought), you get what was “all right” all along. You get peace, a quiet mind, and a chill feeling. You get creativity, inspiration, and motivation. You get rejuvenation, okay-ness, and a second wind.
You feel more “right” than “wrong”.
Actually, if you’re really, truly “not thinking about it,” you don’t think about “right” or “wrong”. You don’t think about how you’d better remember to chew your food thirty times before swallowing, or how you’d be better adjusted if your parents had not been so messed up, or how you’d dust off the piano if only you could get some more time.
And you discover that, maybe, you were OK, even when something felt “wrong” – and – just maybe – you still are.
Great insight!!😀