OK, I’m gonna be honest: this year, I don’t like Christmas. To me, it represents a widely-agreed-upon idea of what life should be like around this time of year. People act around Christmas like they do on social media: like everything is great, awesome, and amazing. And this is ridiculous, because the truth is, life is not always great, awesome, and amazing for everyone. Not even today.
I’m not going to go into reasons why I feel humdrum about Christmas in 2019. Nor am I asking for, or looking for, any consolation or sympathy. I won’t go into specific reasons why I am not particularly excited about the things I’m supposed to be excited about today. That’s not my intention for these public words.
Believe it or not, if you’re reading these words—if you’ve opened my e-mail, and are now reading this third paragraph—I care about you. And that’s why I want you to know the Problem with Christmas.
Christmas is recognized as a holiday—a “Holy Day”. We’re trained to experience it as sublime, and to associate all kinds of magical qualities to it. We’re told that the “season” is a time for peace, good will, and selflessness. We’re encouraged to be our best selves as a new calendar year hangs close ahead.
I had a sense, as a young kid, of feeling like a “new man” on Christmas Day. It was a joyful opportunity to begin again, to shed old skin, to be, in a way, reborn. All the presents I got represented this new, fresh me. And so did the feeling in the air.
But a Day is twenty-four hours, and feelings can change fast. A feeling of newness and freshness can quickly give way to one of overwhelm, apathy, anger, or even grief. And what if that “new man” feeling suddenly changes? What if I don’t feel so hot all of a sudden?
Whatever the reason for this change of mood or outlook, it happens. Quite regularly, actually, in the spectrum of human emotion. I haven’t Googled how many times the average human changes his or her mood in the course of a day, but I’m sure it’s a lot.
I once read a wise man’s quote that went (paraphrased): “Every day a man is born anew.” For kid Pierson, Christmas was a day it was easier to feel “born anew” than other days. But what if it were possible to feel “born anew” any moment? What if we could “cast aside our trappings” and walk forth into the world the way which we wish to present ourselves, and not have to wait for another day?
And this, my friends, is my problem with Christmas. At least as a day in December. Why does it have to be a day in December? Why does it have to be a day at all?
I actually love what Christmas stands for. The feeling that it brings. I just want permission to feel that feeling any moment, any second. On the 26th. On the 27th. On the 13th of March.
But I forget that I don’t need permission. That I can feel new now, or now, or now. That every moment can be (as cheesy it sounds) Christmas morning.
So that’s my Problem. Which, as it turns out, isn’t even a Problem at all.
